Wow, look at the time and a few other thoughts.

I've been sitting here flitting back and forth between random blog searching and increasing my stats in the multiple games I play on facebook. TM (The Man) is here at my side, on his lappie, and we haven't spoken much. That's ok though, it's not that either one of us feel like we must keep each other occupied with idle chatter, which is good, because I really don't know what to say at this point..

I've wandered through quite a few blogs today, and started following a good many of them. It's also gotten me horny as all hell.

Some of the spanking blogs I perused today, "oh my!!!" I don't think I could ever envision my ass literally blistered from a good spanking, but those red bums? oh yes, oh my, oh Lord. I think I need to make sure I have wooden spoons in the house.

That's on the fantasy list, or humiliation list, or one of the numerous lists that I seem to be formulating in my head. He and I have had numerous talks about the mind fuck. I've come to the conclusion that the mind fuck cannot just be during play. I'm way too alpha for that. It's too easy for me to go about my day and be in control of everything... not that I want to, it's just been the way I've had to live for the past 20 years or so. I've always been in charge of everything. House, family, kids, dr. apts, earning money... you name it. I said before, that's not exactly the way I envisioned my life, but what's done is done, and I'm quite proud of the woman I've evolved into.

The down side of that though, is relinquishing control OUTSIDE sex activities. It's tough, it's damned tough. So we made the compromise so I don't get into a 'backed into a corner' feeling, that he would have complete control over my sexuality, so where is that control?. So because of my vivid imagination, I see all sorts of things. Like this quiet time we have right now. I see these things, but know it won't happen.

Stick your hand down my pants and make sure I'm wet. Do something?!?!?!

Follow me in close proximity to the bedroom, close the door right behind us and pull my drawers down to my ankles.

Make me hold my shirt up and tease and torture my nipples like only you can.

Make me worship your cock on demand.

Put me up on the bathroom counter and spread me wide and tell me to fuck myself while you watch.

Make me cook dinner with a vibrating egg in my ass.

Give me a good quick fuck and pull out fast.

God, I shouldn't do this to myself... I don't need him to torture me, I can do it all by myself. But you know... there is nothing quite like feeling used, abused, a real fuck toy, a piece of meat.

I thrive on it. I need it. It takes away all my control, puts me in the right head space. It reminds me of who is really in control, who I want and need to be in control. I'm a slave to my cunt. I'm a sexual slave to TM. Therefore my cunt is a slave to TM. (not to mention every other orafice as well).

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Now, it's time to cook dinner. I love feeling my juices on my inner thighs, knowing that thoughts of TM and what he could do to me at any given moment excites me to that extent.

I love that single moment when I stand up, feeling the wetness coat me as I walk. Oh yeah, yum.

Now that I think about it, I wonder if he can smell his bitch in heat? (Just stole a glance over, he's intent on whatever he's glancing at, so yeah, he's oblivious)

God I need to be used. Good thing I know it's not going to happen or I'd be disappointed.