Monday, March 5, 2012

Putting the foot down

On the gas pedal *grins*.  Bet you weren't expecting that.  It's been an interesting week.  A week ago, he was here, lifting himself up and out of his void and being a welcomed part of my zoo.

We both needed that immensely.

Less than 48 hours after we parted, we were together again.  What a weekend it was.  Both of us on the same page, working side by side with menial chores, sharing our coveted power exchange, living and breathing as if we were one and the same.

Because we were.

There are things that come into play, without words that solidify intent. The dreams we have, and how we want the future to evolve.

Screw time.

It will be ticking whether we want it to or not.

Each day is one day closer to where I want to be.

I have some more thinking to do.

During the course of the weekend, he put forth some scenes that stopped me dead in my tracks. Then later I casually tossed out something to the effect of not admitting that it did titillate me.  So I had to write about why I didn't admit it in the first place- to the one person I'm supposed to divulge things to.

While I was writing, I had an epiphany regarding said behavior.  I now have to elaborate (at my request) on that specific topic.


Sounds easy to write about doesn't it?

Not so easy when one is trying so diligently to give up said will.  It doesn't mean doormat or bobble-head.  Of that I am certain, but it is nagging at me to figure out why I'm still clinging to it.  Especially in regards to admitting to him what does and does not send a shiver down my spine.

So, full steam ahead, pedal to the metal, I'm diving into my head again.

Stay tuned...

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