Thursday, February 16, 2012

nothing to stop it

Most of what I write here these days is when I am agst'ng about my relationship.  I don't mean to bore anyone, but this is one place I can vent.

He really pissed me off today, actually he's been gradually upping the pissed of factor steadily over the last two weeks.  I didn't get disrespectful, I kept my cool, but did reply to a message with a single "fine".

We haven't spoken since.

Every relationship has ups and downs, and I don't write nearly enough about all the ups we have. There are plenty of those.

These last two weeks are testing every ounce of sub patience I have.  I'm not putting any extra effort into the dynamic, taking a very dominant attitude if you ask me.

I realize this, but am doing nothing to stop it.

I know it's wrong, but I'm doing nothing to stop it.

I'm supposed to be pleasing, that's what a slave is supposed to do, right?  I'm not acting slavish.  I don't think he's acting very Master-ish either. I'm not trying to be manipulating, or topping from the bottom.  I'm simply not putting any extra effort, because quite frankly, I don't think he is either.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but I'm doing nothing to stop it.

We'll get through it, and I'll probably have some sore flesh over my actions.

And I'll be doing nothing to stop it.  I won't try and escape, plead, bargain, or manipulate.

I'm not consciously or unconsciously asking for a punishment.  I HATE his punishments, they are not fun whatsoever. Right now, noticing the behavior is off would be a step up.

I know all about communication, and how it's key.  It's not about not being able to communicate.  Sometimes it just takes awhile to gather the thoughts

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