Thursday, October 11, 2012


Jefe had a talk with one of his best friends.  This friend couldn't understand our power exchange dynamic.  He just sees it as I'm a doormat who's told what to do and I do it.  Back to the 1950's household (which I really don't have anything bad to say about that dynamic). There's a deeper understanding though, one that can't be explained to someone who doesn't want to see past their own perception.

Giving him the reins doesn't mean I don't have a voice or an opinion.  It doesn't mean that I don't offer my advice and counsel to him.  It means that he takes all that information under advisement and makes his decision. I'm totally good with that.

I think a male who is not dominant by nature cannot understand that.  I think this friend is more in that category.  He's a very nice man, I don't see him as a dominant male though.  Highly intelligent, yes, friendly, confident- dominant- no.

I can see his wife as being more of the dominant role, mainly because she's taking care of house and family making those decisions on a day to day basis- and that's something he's fine with.  I wonder though how he would feel if he laid down the law about any particular decision- if then would he understand how this dynamic works.

It was difficult for Master to realize that there was nothing he could say to this man that could make him understand how it works.  I've had that conversation with a good friend before, and I've heard rumblings now that she wishes her new husband was more dominant.  She's starting to "get" it.

Sometimes people don't know what they don't know.  Education and awareness and a willingness to look within and comprehend is all it takes. Sometimes too, it's a tough pill to swallow when you're a man and realize you aren't the dominant one, and your best friend is- in all aspects.

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