Sunday, June 12, 2011


Things don't always come out as intended.

Today I was going, or should I say hoping to go up north and meet up with jefe and his friends for a short time. My intent was to surprise him, but I thought better of it and told him of my intentions.

At first he sounded happy, then given the situation, he suggested it would be better for me to stay home. I told him I was hurt, and why. His words weren't intended to hurt, but they did nonetheless. Doesn't he want to be near me as much as I want to be near him?

I went from elated to crushed within an hour.

I'm still crushed.

I'm having a very hard time with it.

The reasons were valid and thoughtful of me, but it's left me sad and empty.

I wanted nothing more than a few hours in his presence, to get that physical reassurance and mental affirmation of 'him'.

We parted the last time on a sombre note... I needed that rush of happiness I get when I see his face.

But, the D has spoken, and I am home. Missing him so much it physically aches.

Is he aching too?

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