Saturday, June 18, 2011

Long week

I was on business travel all of this week, and as nice as it is to travel and 'get away', I really don't care for it much. Sleeping in a bed that's not mine or familiar doesn't do much for a good night's sleep. I don't worry about the brood, they are in good hands during my absence.

This week was harder than most though because Jefe is really hurting, physically and mentally. His back injury is not putting his frame of mind in a very good space. Combine that with the fact that I'm still depressed over last weeks miscommunication of sorts, and well it just wasn't a very good week.

I realize that I over think. I'm an's what we do!! However, no matter how many times I tried to make light of it, or make an excuse (in my head) the result was still the same. I'm bothered by it, very bothered by it.

The question is what am I going to do about it?

I can't let it fester, if I have too many more days like this I'll be ready for a prescription. I'm tired of having this hang over me like a cloud, casting its shadow. The shadow's getting longer instead of shorter.

Here's the part that's making me stupid. It's all verbal. I see the way he looks at me, feel the way he holds me and I know it's more than 'temptation'. I need to hear it though.

I am not told that I'm missed, or that I'm needed. I'm a temptation. See? I'm doing it again. Making a mountain out of a mole-hill. I can't stop thinking about it though. I have to tell him more than I did last Sunday because I feel it affecting each conversation.

I need to see him, be near him...


It's not something I'm accustomed to.

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