Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Typical Monday

Thursday afternoon, Jefe asked if I wanted to come up, and of course I took the opportunity as offered. We didn't have anything going on, so by noon I was enroute. The three hours doesn't seem like forever anymore.

As always, I had a wonderful time. Just being next to him is what matters. Of course our continued exploration of bdsm and each other leaves me breathless in so many ways. The things he does physically, the emotional connection is something I never experienced, and probably never will. It's made a good many things I've read about in some blogs around the web make complete sense.

We've made great strides making time to see each other. We manage every weekend, still can't do during the week though, with work schedules. That is really getting to both of us. He thought it was a bit easier on me because I always seem to have something going on, or someone around me, but that's not the case. I want to be with him, not just on the weekends, but each and every day. I want to fall asleep and wake up next to him like I get to do every 5 or 6 days.

It's not enough, I want more. I am selfishly wanting to devote more time to him. My hands are tied and not in a good way. His are too.

It becomes weary and draining. We have devoted time, even when people are around us, but then the immediate separation sucks. I try to put on a happy face when I chat at him, but some weeks I can't, some weeks I don't want to be strong. I need him to be stronger and carry me. It just sucks. We both seem to come out of our funks by Wednesday. I think subliminally we both know the weekend is right around the corner.

I'm just venting today, pay me no mind.

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